Hollywood's Lie of Love

Hollywood’s main object is to tell a story, to spread a message, to inspire people to greater things. At least, that is what I have believed for the longest time. Now, I am not so sure. Several recent movies claiming to be stories of “love” make me sick to my stomach with their false image of “love”. So often, love is portrayed as something I believe firmly that which it is not.  I no longer recognize Hollywood’s version of love; it does not seem to “line up” with what I have witnessed and experienced in life. And yet, so many people view it as normal, or even right. True love, according to Hollywood, is finding pleasure and happiness. So many young people have no other teacher of love than Hollywood… and what a sorry and deceiving teacher it has revealed itself to be.

Love is not sleeping with as many people as possible. It is not finding the “perfect” or “most complimentary” person. It is not using people for one’s own gain or pleasure. Happiness, true happiness, will never come at the expense of another person. Rather, it will come to one person as the result of another’s sacrifice. Hollywood’s version of love is false, a complete lie. How sad that countless people are deceived into believing that there is no other form of love, that there is no other “option,” so to speak.

I believe love and sacrifice go hand-in-hand. It is impossible for one to truly love without pain. If a person has never experience grief, rejection, or loneliness, he has never truly loved another person. Perhaps, his only experience of love has been for himself. Love is more than emotion, feeling, or romance. Love is more than feeling “happy” or “complete”. Love in many ways is like picking raspberries. One will inevitable be scratched, poked, and cut, but he will not gain the reward of delicious fruit if he is not willing to be hurt. Once he obtains the berries, however, the pain is forgotten. The outward appearance of scratches and scars may be seen, but they are of no concern to the brave berry-picker.

Love is staying married to an unloving spouse, not because you have to but because you realize that it is for the good of the other person.

Love is having another baby, not because people approve but because you realize that life is more than living for yourself.

Love is waiting patiently for another person, meeting him at his level, even if you realize that he may never change.

Love is taking the time to comfort another person because you are willing to experience grief with her, even at your own discomfort.

Love is caring for an elderly relative, even if you have better things to do.

Love is setting your own dreams aside in order than you may help another person fulfill hers.

Love is saving your first kiss for the man willing to lay down his life for you.

Love is not moving in with your fiancé because you desire his entrance into heaven more than you desire him.

Love is letting go of a loved one because you realize how much more she is needed in heaven than on earth.

Love is kindly confronting a friend because you know the value of her soul is greater than she herself realizes.

Love is waking up with a young child at 3 am and holding her while she vomits for the hundredth time.

Love is giving your baby up for adoption, not because it’s the easiest option but because it’s the hardest.

Love is enduring the battle of cancer with a loved one, knowing that you are powerless to help but never giving up anyway.

Love is all of these things and more: selfless, peaceful, and sacrificial. Love is the name of my Best Friend who shows me best how to love, though I have much to learn. He is my true teacher, not Hollywood, because he gave the best example of how to truly love. Frankly, Hollywood’s lessons on love disgust me in their perversion and shallowness.  Hollywood’s love, in a word is cowardice. 

The Compassion of a Pope

I love this photo so much. As with all photos, this one contains a story. Back in 1981, on the feast of Our Lady of Fatima, a man tried to assassinate the late Pope John Paul II. Thankfully, he failed in his attempt and was arrested.

Not long after being released from the hospital, Blessed JP2 (as he is now affectionately known) visited his would-be killer in prison. That moment is captured in this photo - a moment of forgiveness and compassion. The Holy Father was in no way obligated to visit the man, a Turk named Mehmet Ali Agca. And yet, as the Vicar of Christ, he chose to demonstrate Christ's love for this man by forgiving him. The Italian President later pardoned Agca at the Pope's request. What an impact that must have made on Agca's life! Rather than serve his life-long prison sentence, he was forgiven, pardoned, and set free.

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. Sometimes it seems relatively easy to forgive others, but other times grudges persist and drag on for years and years. And then a tragedy (like the recent shooting in Connecticut) occurs, and we think to ourselves, "Now THAT'S something impossible to forgive."

Though I have never lost a love one due to such a terrible occurrence, I have experienced my share of grief in this life. Perhaps losing a little sister to cancer gives me a small bit of understanding regarding Sandy Hook's grieving parents, but I'm clueless to the anger, the regret, and the other emotion they may be feeling. Perhaps it is insensitive of me, in the wake of this tragedy, to speak about forgiveness. And yet, Pope Benedict has already suggested this very thing. After offering his condolences and assurances of prayer, the Holy Father prayed that "'God sustain the entire community with spiritual strength which triumphs over violence by the power of forgiveness, hope and reconciling love.' "(http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2012/12/16/pope-connecticut-school-shooting/1772725/)

"Forgiveness, hope, and reconciling love." These are the things that will change the world, that will heal our broken hearts of all affected by violence, hatred, and attacks from the Evil One. May Our Lord be especially close to those grieving this holiday season. In this final week of Advent, may we together anticipate the Prince of Peace!